Existential kvetches from your typical non-denominational, non-threatening, quasi-vegetarian, politically conscious, orthodox Jewish single gal. Kaenahora! MirtzaShem by you.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Happiness

En route to fulfill the materialistic need of bargain hunting, I remembered that Rabbi Twersky was in town for the evening to lecture on the topic of obtaining the ever evasive feeling of happiness. And while his points were values and lessons that one hears repeatedly--that one repeats to oneself, from time to time, it was wonderful to hear them again, especially from such a positive, upbeat and how shall I say this ? twinkling personality.

Some things he said:
Happiness is misinterpreted by our Western society. Pleasure is not happiness and the pursuit of pleasure does not lead to long term happiness, but only a temporary feeling as we are doing that thing.

True happiness is reaching our human potential. Translated as those characteristics that separate us from other species, i.e. the ability to make judgement callls, learn from history, do things that benefit us in the long term, but that in the short term cause discomfort.

Reaching one's potential includes making the people around you happy, and they will respond likewise (I know this one doesnt always work, but whenever I try it, it helps me).

Not rocket science here, but I felt pretty upbeat when I walked out the door.

I know what happiness feels like. I still am uncertain though, if one has the ability to change who they are so that they may be happier. I don't claim to know what makes people feel happy but I would guess its a combination of feeling fulfilled and not bored, while at the same time, minimizing stress. for some reason, its the self acctualization factor that makes us truly happy, but if its done stressfully, we are done for: We will be miserable if we are stressed. What do you think?

6 Comments:

Blogger anonym00kie said...

i dont fully agree with this :
"feeling fulfilled and not bored, while at the same time, minimizing stress. for some reason, its the self acctualization factor that makes us truly happy.."

i think the self actualization part is true, it relates to what r'twersky said - fulfilling your potential.
but i dont think just being busy or minimizing stress leads to happiness. being busy leads to the pleasure type of happiness, not real happiness. you can be busy all day, and then get home and realize your whole day was meaningless cuz you were busy... shopping all day, and you will come crashing down.
being busy with something meaningful - meanign your fulfilling your purpose - will lead to happiness.
I think what youre referrign to is that being bored will definitely lead to unhappiness, but in order to be happy being busy, it has to be something that leads you to fulfilling your potential (which emcompasses a lot!)
thought provoking post, thanks

7:37 AM

 
Blogger gary_vanwarmerdam said...

Happiness is the emotional state experienced when we express love. It is so elusive because we so often change our expressions. Our expression can change as often as the thoughts go around in or mind or when we have a reaction. That reaction is then our expression of emotion that we feel. When we express love, we feel the joy of that expression.

When you master expressing love, you master being happy in your life.

Gary,

http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com

10:47 AM

 
Blogger kaenahora said...

self accualization--being busy with something meaningful.

I am not sure that one can equate love with happiness. It is an interesting idea. I suppose using the term "love' is a bit equivocal. Love in the long term sense does not always equate with happiness--for example, I love my mom but we do not always make each other 'happy'. In the short term sense, love could make someone happy, or maybe, it would be more accurate to say love -->joy. Care to elaborate?

6:43 PM

 
Blogger Jo said...

One aspect of free will is to choose to be happy, even in times of suffering. Remember when he spoke about the woman with the amputated legs who had phantom pain? She chose to be happy.
Stress can make you unhappy, or you can turn it around and find something to be happy about. It's just really hard to do it all the time.

12:07 AM

 
Blogger kaenahora said...

some say we experience pain so that we understand what true happiness is. one needs the variation to appreciate the good stuff. I buy that, although its not fun when it hurts:)

11:01 PM

 
Blogger gary_vanwarmerdam said...

To elaborate further:

Love does equate with happiness. When you express the emotion of love for your mom you are happy. When you express the emotion of frustration, or anger, you are not happy.

Think of "happy" as an emotion. Where do emotions come from? We create them from within. Your mom doesn't make you happy because your mom doesn't create your emotions.

You don't make your mom happy or unhappy because she creates her own emotions. Usually this happens out of reaction to what you do, but it is still her reaction, therefore her creation.

When you and your mom are not getting along (just an example here) you aren’t creating and expressing the emotion of love. In this scenario the love is conditional on having a certain criteria met. Maybe she wants you to do something or not do something and then she will be happy with you. This is conditional love.

Lasting happiness is expressing unconditional love. This is how a Dalai Llama does it, or Ghandi, or anyone that lives in a state of lasting happiness and joy.

More at http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/create_happiness.htm

10:41 AM

 

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