Brickhead

THING ONE:
Our city puts on the big poobah fireworks display for the Fourth of July. While it is wonderful to sit in your very own backyard in the summer on your trampoline and watch the display with friends, every year without fail, the show attracts every hooligan in the tri-county area.

To combat this, the city scheduled our dinky fireworks display on the same day as the metro-fire works display downtown, in hopes that seedy elements stay down there and leave us the heck alone.

A few years ago I stood on my porch and watched police on horseback break up a near-rioting group of kids after someone, somewhere fired a shot. My parents insisted we were moving that night, but then rationalized it as an unlikely reoccuring event, so hence we stay...

Last year they canceled the display, but citizens were so disappointed, so disgruntled, so very upset...
...we anyway, they flexed their collective patriotic arm and called the council, the mayor, the fourth of july commission, and we are back with a bang.

THING TWO:
This week we are replacing the walkway in front of our house because our lovely oak tree had been displacing the blocks of pavement with its huge, gnarly roots for the past few years. Considering ourselves extremely fortunate every time an elderly person makes it to our front door without needing a hip replacement, my parents finally decided to do something about fixing the walkway. A crew comprised of a few super strong Mexican men chopped up the old slabs, removed a four foot high bonfire-perfect pile of roots, lay down a bed of gravel and installed the most beautiful brick pathway.

They nearly completed everything today. They only need to insert the larger, decorative bricks along the sides, into the trench they dug on either side.

THING ONE AND THING TWO COLLIDE

Sitting on the counch a few minutes ago, my mom noticed a young woman walk by with her baby in a stroller. The woman leans over, picks up a brick and places it into the stroller. She walks away.

My mom springs up, goes to the front door and bellows, "HEY, PUT THAT BACK!!! I SAW YOU TAKE THAT!" but the woman kept walking...

The end.

DISCUSSION:

We did not call the police. She stole a brick. It was odd. Why steal a brick? Why steal a brick with the owner of those bricks watching? Why give owner a dirty look-- like its none of their business--I mean, come on, owner is interferring with your brick-taking activity.

Kleptomaniac getting a thrill?

Gangmember looking for weapons of the hurlling variety?

Desperate mom looking for a toy for her kid?

Why do I find this so disturbing? The slippery slope theory tells me that she will be back tommorow taking a yogurt out of the fridge, a shower in my shower, and my wet socks and undies out of the washing machine.

Or maybe I only have to worry about this annually.